cyclopticgaze
WARNING!
May 6, 2007
So I bought a lawnmower today.
Now, if nothing else, science has proven it over and over again: dangerous machines are fun. Lawnmowers are no exception. And in our overly-litigious society, people need to be warned about these dangers. This way, when people mangle themselves, lawyers can tell them that their instruction manuals warned about the possibility of such manglings. Pictures speak loudly and command attention. Case in point:
Are you really reading those big, red words? Hell no. Ruined dress shoes! Flying fingertips! (I knew someone who did that, by the way. The finger one.)
Rotating parts? Pshaw. But, oh the danger they pose! Just look at those mangled hands.
I know Carbon Monoxide's bad, but who knew it caused decapitation? Hell, even the text doesn't warn you of that. Stylistic gore is one thing, but this label is downright creepy.
Guess I can't say that I haven't been warned.